IT'S OVER

I tell myself
I’m not still in love with you
But it’s more complex than that.

Because how do you love someone
Who would not love you back?
How the hell can I still love someone
Who cannot love me back?
How do you love someone who you’ve hurt so badly?
And how do you love someone
Who, hurt, retaliated
Out of anger and out of fear,
Angry and fearful of the person I’d become in your absence.
How do you carry on loving someone whom you care about enough
To know when enough is enough?

I’m not still in love with you, I tell myself.

And yet, I cannot forget the memories of Us!

Despite all of the hardship,
And arguments,
And grief,
And
Hatred and doubt and pity and rough hewn edges…

I cannot forget -
“Oh, how we danced!”