deepundergroundpoetry.com
Regrets
Tied but detached, stored dry and dusty
concerns , swept where they're not visible
sometimes, half ripped photographs
discarded, in the pyres of mistrust
Face value that can't be recouped
the faded dress, the threadbare suit
smouldering embers that could linger
residue of sparks amongst the clinker
The priest hole, somewhere to hide
in contentment's point of solitude
to grind the teeth and rationalise
smooth, emolument where I was branded
And never, did what right intended
the stains that etched
to hurt when rubbed, a tear that can't be mended
the barrel plumbed into its deep depths
there lies the realms of my regrets
concerns , swept where they're not visible
sometimes, half ripped photographs
discarded, in the pyres of mistrust
Face value that can't be recouped
the faded dress, the threadbare suit
smouldering embers that could linger
residue of sparks amongst the clinker
The priest hole, somewhere to hide
in contentment's point of solitude
to grind the teeth and rationalise
smooth, emolument where I was branded
And never, did what right intended
the stains that etched
to hurt when rubbed, a tear that can't be mended
the barrel plumbed into its deep depths
there lies the realms of my regrets
Published 3rd May 2021
| Edited 4th May 2021
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The author encourages honest critique.
3rd May 2021 10:42pm
Thank you for the read Slipalong, this feels from the heart and ughhh, "Face value that cant be recouped, the faded dress, the threadbare suit". Just delightful, one day I hope to be able to write like this. Best R
4th May 2021 12:39pm
This indeed sunk deep, like an emotional barrel through the reader. It's very well conveyed emotionally, slip. I agree with the quoted lines above, that got me too.
Now that NaPo is over, and to honor your request for honest critique, I have a few things to point out:
* cough *
swept where [ their ] not visible ( they're )
photograph's ( singular not possessive - same for pyre's )
Face value that can[ ' ]t be recouped
spark's amongst ( singular )
contentment's point ( PERFECT )
a tear that can[ ' ]t be mended
Watch your possessives and contractions. NaPo speeds one up, so don't forget to slow down and smell the roses now. Hell, bathe in bath water with them.
Very proud of you, slip. xo
Now that NaPo is over, and to honor your request for honest critique, I have a few things to point out:
* cough *
swept where [ their ] not visible ( they're )
photograph's ( singular not possessive - same for pyre's )
Face value that can[ ' ]t be recouped
spark's amongst ( singular )
contentment's point ( PERFECT )
a tear that can[ ' ]t be mended
Watch your possessives and contractions. NaPo speeds one up, so don't forget to slow down and smell the roses now. Hell, bathe in bath water with them.
Very proud of you, slip. xo
