I should have known

Who?
What?
You’re kidding, right?
Everyone?
Men and women?
Except for me and Amy Weiss?
Really, everyone?
I know I’m in San Francisco, but who would’ve thought.
Never in my wildest dreams.
I guess maybe I should’ve known.
Like that time when we were roller skating and that cute man pinched my ass and then winked at me.
I thought I just had a cute ass.
I should’ve known.
I’m from Chicago.
In Chicago cute men don’t pinch your ass.
Well, maybe they do.
Are you telling me I’m the only straight man in the city?
At work?
I guess I should’ve known.
Like all the times I went to parties and there were all these gorgeous guys, and woman would ask me to go home with them and not ask the gorgeous guys.
I really should have known.
Or the times I was in the locker room after swimming and guys were staring.
Thought it was me.
Without a doubt, I should have known.