"Fatso"

I hate myself for being FAT!!!
I want to stab myself in the stomach repeatedly!
My Soul is trim as is my heart
It's just that Mother nature defeated me.

I'm honest kind and caring
My integrity is intact
You'll be hard pushed to find a more loving man
But hurtful words about me have an impact.

If I could slice away at my flesh
If I could only melt away all my fat
I'd gladly take in my hand a hot knife
And keep on slicing til my stomach was flat.

I feel ashamed cos it's my worst self hate
When people tell me to seek a personal trainer
They don't know it and I know they mean well
But I feel like crying, like I'm a failure...

I'm not one for gyms or fashionable trends
I would rather go visit Mother nature
Climb to the top of the toppest of hills
Find myself, not listen to some lecture.

I want to cry right now in all honesty
I feel so fucking unattractive
If I take down all the mirrors that might help
Don't know how I'm fat cos I'm always active...?

When someone you care so much for
Can kill you without even knowing
Kind words with good intentions?
Mean very little if my shame's still growing.

All I want is to be happy again
I want to be seen for the man that I am
My carcass will not carry on when I pass
But my soul will still be the same man.

So what if I'm not up to society's specification?
I thought you should be liked for who you are?
I know I'm not perfect like I'd like to be
That's why on my heart there's a scar.