Story of an Addict

sitting in this class. this work is a pain in the ass. i can't stop thinking, about what they said to me, shaming. calling me a slut and then maybe i can see my mistakes i've made. wishing that i could have been a different shade of grey. wishing that this was a different damn day. i'm sitting and drifting away. weed in my pocket, smoke in my lungs. i'm running scared, took my father's guns. its the paranoia the cocain craze, i try to run faster but my mind's in a haze. i'm thinking of you and i hope you know, that i had liked you, when it's my time to go. you're a sanctuary for my thoughts, a person who makes me out to be great. i'm not that good, for me god wont be opening the pearly gates. cuz i still have that demon inside me and it's eating me alive. the hit gets me and i look for more, i strive. drug addiction is hard to pertain, but when you get it it's worse than any pain.