lady with the sliding miter saw

Oh... the observations of such reinforce the minutiae of people watchers, and what’s oft derived from the eyes of another to form such raw snippets !

Love the write, and fuck those petulant little fucktard grammar nazis who’ve nothing better to do with their time... 🔥

Thank you for reading.

I like the idea of this, how you made it personal with "her hair", overall, the poem is compact and communicative.. if you're looking for grammar help, I'm not sure you need too much guidance here, as poetry can be pretty fluid in the rules department, but even though I, myself, love a good comma, they don't need to go at the end of a line where it's already been broken like in your first stanza after "lumber", just as you probably don't need full stops at the end of lines or stanzas unless you were going full hog with capitalisations and proper grammar... meaning you would likely be putting it in paragraph form rather than breaking it up contemporarily like this. i'll give you the advice that was given to me, drop all the punctuation and where you want full stops, break the whole stanza, where you want commas, break the line (though I like my commas in middles of lines sometimes, like you have on the hair line). and if it were me, i would change your "unto" to "onto" , break your penultimate sentence into shorter, more bite-sized lines, but that's your artistic decision. just looks kind of odd on my desktop screen, though it would look a lot better on a phone, I imagine. All just my humble opinion, try them out in different forms and see what looks best to you. i'm a fan. Write on

cheers also, to the lady above me, haha

Wow. Thank you for the really great advice. Thanks for taking the time. This was really helpful. You're awesome.

I like that meditative zen quality this poem has, the chopping wood, carrying water quality.  My Sweetie has that aspect, whether she’s sawing, hammering, constructing an entire deck by herself or whatever. It’s so almost spiritual that it isn’t almost after awhile. I like dipping into your work a poem at a time and feeling the yes! and the omg’s pop up. Ty.