keeping it clean

Keeping it clean
for the life as an addict competition

Im trying to hold it in long enough to get to tonight
to make is through two and a half more hours of this talking
the same drowning voice i deal with ever day 5 times a week
trying to sit still and keep my eyes on him and not the clock
to just make it through two hours is a killing
hurting and making me twitch
ticking the clock goes, tick tick tick
toc toc toc is all i hear
its calling to me where I sit
I don't know how much longer i can sit here and listen to his drowning voice and deal with the questions
is it worth it to leave now?
i'm sick maybe,
that would be a well used on this year
this year i had already missed too much from being sick
the seconds pass and class is finally over
i move from my seat with an impatience that people notice
like i am really sick
going for a toilet
my body convulses as i take that first drag in my car
illegal it is,
but i needed it
my body relaxes as i start the car
i have to get home and im safe
no one can touch me there
the dragging tension of a rive home with a tok sitting there
my best friend Mary is crying for me to drag on her
to  breath her in
screaming at me to stop and let her out and free.
just five more minutes...