smile

my mind is a battlefield that i surrendered to    
because time never healed the wounds  
 i suppressed and concealed not caused by you    
   
life’s worth of hurt erupting inside of me    
i feel my heart corrupting right upon my sleeve thoughts race faster than my own heartbeat    
   
i’ve reached the end of my rope    
so i tied it tightly around my throat    
closing my eyes and letting go of all my hope    
   
just as everything fades to black  
 i see you smiling back    
the rope it snaps    
and i collapse    
   
i begin pacing back and forth in the dark    
holding on to the feeling of our spark    
reminiscing all the nights i held you in my arms    
   
i just wanted more time    
but you made up your mind    
i don’t need anymore signs    
   
this cannot be i don’t want you to see me as the enemy    
i used to be the one to hold you when you’d sleep    
   
you’re not going insane we’re twin flames  
every time that it rains i think of your name  
give me a chance to explain everything i overcame    
these demons & pain deceit and shame    
when i call your name silence remains    
   
your perception is deception this is not an accurate representation of who i really am    
i can’t even look at my own reflection    
i hope you understand    
   
this heart doesn’t belong to me    
i’m waiting to meet there    
to give it to you    
by the train station    
where it all began    
my safe haven    
i’ll come here everyday    
and stay there awhile    
as long as i have to    
one day i hope i’ll see you  
smile