deepundergroundpoetry.com
Oath To Order - Majora's Mask - Orchestrated
Perfection is perspective, invisibly enticed,
Deception lays back, tongue-tied,
Waiting for the moment you gave into submission,
Just admit that you were yet again, easily subdued,
Acceptance heals faster than time, I speak truth,
But you have to do it for you, and only you.
A Harlot will go on, the more you dwell,
You'll be surprised how silence stabs like daggers more than words ever will,
Suffering and Depression traded for Silence and Self Content
This is not a subjective conclusion
When something works, you never forget
You'll be surprised how much you really like to be alone
A man becomes a man when he learns to love himself on his own
Deception lays back, tongue-tied,
Waiting for the moment you gave into submission,
Just admit that you were yet again, easily subdued,
Acceptance heals faster than time, I speak truth,
But you have to do it for you, and only you.
A Harlot will go on, the more you dwell,
You'll be surprised how silence stabs like daggers more than words ever will,
Suffering and Depression traded for Silence and Self Content
This is not a subjective conclusion
When something works, you never forget
You'll be surprised how much you really like to be alone
A man becomes a man when he learns to love himself on his own
Published 31st Jan 2012
| Edited 1st Feb 2012
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2nd Feb 2012 4:30pm
"This is not a subjective conclusion" I like that line in the context of a poem on love - it's interesting cause it goes against the usual abstract nature of most words on the subject, so it stood out for me. Wasn't so sure about the 'stabs like daggers' line. For me the hard-hitting effect that could have been there was lost in a simile that I think is over-used. I did listen to the music in the title while I read it through first time, but cause the poem was new to me, it did distract me a bit from focusing on the words. I think once I'd got to grips with the poem, and then listened to the music, the two would have worked better together. I do understand the idea of music setting a tone for something, but I think the words have to do that on their own first and foremost. And I liked the last line - I think there's a lot of truth in that, for everybody.
2nd Feb 2012 10:32pm
Merda, I'm going to admit that this poem was one of my more confusing ones. This will probably be the only time I ever cough up my poem's meaning. If a poem has to be explained, it's worthless. I can't tell if you're saying that "stabs like daggers" is over used or not. If you are, I totally agree with you.
When a man and woman have been together for a while and then split up due to the fact that the woman cheated or lied throughout the whole relationship, from my experience, it's mostly the man who stays behind, crying about lost love. He may even try to get her back many times. He may try writing poetry to forget about her, although it makes him dwell more. Instead of just playing the waiting game, hoping that you magically won't feel sad anymore, just accept that she was no good for you anyway. People refer to the tongue as being a sword, or what people say "stabs like daggers". If you just stop talking to her, you'll heal a lot faster. And honestly, I love being single. I am content with myself. Right now, I'd rather be Single. Once someone is on my level, they'll understand why the woman wasn't even worth it
When a man and woman have been together for a while and then split up due to the fact that the woman cheated or lied throughout the whole relationship, from my experience, it's mostly the man who stays behind, crying about lost love. He may even try to get her back many times. He may try writing poetry to forget about her, although it makes him dwell more. Instead of just playing the waiting game, hoping that you magically won't feel sad anymore, just accept that she was no good for you anyway. People refer to the tongue as being a sword, or what people say "stabs like daggers". If you just stop talking to her, you'll heal a lot faster. And honestly, I love being single. I am content with myself. Right now, I'd rather be Single. Once someone is on my level, they'll understand why the woman wasn't even worth it
2nd Feb 2012 10:38pm
I also want to thank you for giving the songs a try. I feel like you may be the only one so far to do so. I understand what you're saying about the music maybe distracting people. However, if someone was trying to do what I'm trying to do, I would read his poems first anyway, and THEN read it again while listening to the songs. If someone doesn't think the poem is good, they probably won't even care to listen to it with a song. I hope that makes sense.
2nd Feb 2012 11:22pm
You reminded me of something I heard Ben Loory say in a interview, something along the lines of 'the words have to speak for themselves, if you can say them in another way then they're not right,' I think that's completely true, so I agree with your point about explaining the meaning behind a poem, though it was interesting to see where you were coming from when you wrote it. Yeah - I was saying "stabs like daggers" is kind of over used, little bit cliche - but you agree? So, the cliche was intended?
Ah okay, I listened to the music a little too soon then. I think I understand where you're coming from.
Ah okay, I listened to the music a little too soon then. I think I understand where you're coming from.
