Its so cold so cold

It must be nice to have a place to lay your head
I wish i wasnt freezing right now its cold and. I wish i was dead
This really sucks i have no home again
Not for usual reasons cause i paid but for childish
Little skin suit wearing toads shheeps in wolfs clothing
Lieing just to lie so im homeless with nowhere to go
And i dont care what people think  they all get to be fowl while
I try to do right and be the right kind of person
Well doing good and doing right buisness
Is all good except when your too stupid to get a reciept

I just want to go back to the way my life was
Back to being a mother and a solid friend
Being able to look myself in the mirror without
Wanting to puke ive become a scum bag dirt bag
Thinking  Just like robbing somebody
That aint me ill take from a mutherfucker cause they take from me
Here i am thinking a mutherfucker deserves violence just cause im desperate
But its so cold i have nowhere and nothing
I pray everyday that god will just take me
Mostly because my only reason to live was taken from me
Without cause without merit
My whole world collapsed the day my son went away
Im knowing that we live only to die so why i was allowed to survive i dont really know
Why if he knows all why wouldnt he know what a failure id become
Didnt he take my life when alone  in a bathroom stall i overdosed
Why allow me a second chance to continue fuckin up my life and the lives of those i love and who love me
Im so fuckin cold and sick i just wish that sleep would come
And that i would scease to be
I have no warm strong arms around me helping me feel safei
I have no love to bring me hope for me the only light in my life
Was snuffed out and yet this hollow shell is left a zombie
This world is so cruel lordiuse my sword i battle for those who cant
I. Feed those withnofood i take under my wing
That need a teacher i taught childrens church
Without any help fromthestate i adopted six kids
Gave them better than what they ever got at home
And god im not saying i feel shorted i did those thinggs not for recognition
But for my heart to edify myself my spirit
Im dieing i dont even have a car tosleep in and i piaid my bills i paid my dues i just want a shred of that unconditional love returned