Hurtful Pretend

What does the future hold?
That’s something best not thought of and left untold
I guess I should be happy for you
Even though I know that feeling is untrue
I know what has been happening is just pretend
Though I guess I was just hoping it would never end
It sickens me that I have yet to come to terms with the fact that you ARE gay
And unfortunately my feelings have stayed because of this twisted game we have played
Still there is nothing that you can do
Except feel sorry for the friend that is helping protect you
Though now you’ve found someone you really like
I fear what will happen to me after you come into the light
I won’t be able to do half of what I currently do, that’s for sure
I don’t want to hurt your relationships or hold you back anymore
After you come out, though, you’ll come to live in a different universe than me
Though at least you get to finally be free
No more pretending to be who you’re not
And finally fully coming to terms with something that for so long you have fought
So I guess I really should be happy for you
Yes, that is something I’ll have to try and do