deepundergroundpoetry.com
burning (still born)
..leave the dead child in you..
..to burning..
..to never be free from the burden of hurting..
..until you bring yourself to the gun..
..to burning..
..to never be free from the burden of hurting..
..until you bring yourself to the gun..
Published 17th Jan 2010
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Anonymous
17th Jan 2010 5:38am
Four lines wrapped in an exquisitely expressed pain and melodramatic horror. The middle rhyme was wonderful.
17th Jan 2010 5:48am
oops must have missed that lol I hate rhyming.. but it does work.. these were another that were intended to be lyrics.. so they kinda flow like a song if you can dig..
31st Jan 2010 4:13am
I find the "accidental" rhyme so suitable and perfect. I love rhyming, gives the poem musicality. good work on the poem. very subtle.
31st Jan 2010 6:23am
yes it was an accidental rhyme.. I usually despise rhyming because it sounds forced and unmusical by most authors.. it takes a hell of a writer to make words rhyme AND flow.. not sound forced.. glad you like the piece :D
Anonymous
31st Jan 2010 6:30am
pain,in four stark lines, love it nathan!
31st Jan 2010 7:10am
its like a haiku.. so much substance packed into so few words.. thank you my dear
Anonymous
2nd Sep 2012 9:59pm
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3rd Sep 2012 00:03am
