Spirits

My mind is in two, my feelings are like spirits
Dead and cold, just waiting for someone to notice
I try to clear my head and get shit off my chest through these lyrics
But I’m looking at no reflection when I’m staring in this mirror
So what if I told you that I’m not okay?
Get reassured I’m okay but I’m not okay and I’m quiet because that’s all I’ve got to say
Don’t want no pity and I don’t want no hate
Sometimes I just wanna talk and be vulnerable, it’s the only way I can escape
Sometimes I turn to God and pray when I’m not religious but it’s the only way I can bare to believe because what is life without our faith
What is life without something to believe in
Keeping track with the things that I’m seeing but it’s not enough to allow me to start healing
Another empty day that I just can’t bare the thought of willing
Maybe to people I’m nothing but a second thought, but I pray to the next that I’m more appealing


Sick of being one to reach out rather than be the one who was wanted then
Tryna allow my thoughts to contribute like I was part of shit
Looking and leaving at every single message I sent
Try to make a bang but I put my tail between my legs when I can’t even make a dent
Because in love it hurts whenever I show it
No matter the time or place it ruins me until I’m at a place when I’m too numb to even know it
Love is shown in so many different ways and brightens up so many hearts
So why is it for me that it always just falls apart


Friendship or more, I’m too scared to even make my pick
I know by the time that it’s over that I’m well done with it
Most the time I don’t even know if they’re sad or thrilled with it
While I’m back here writing again, just trying to kill thoughts with it
Sometimes I don’t know if I’m killing it
Or those times if I’m just killing me
All these times bare my soul from the moments I’m so upset
I put my feelings on paper just for everyone to see
That my life can be complicated but sometimes it can end beautifully
Tryna find a way around the hurt even if it’s killing me
Through my mind all I say goes so fucking deep
But In the end we still all have so much life left to seek
Giving up is hard and leaving shit in your memories
Is hard to control because all it does is leave you feeling weak