At your headstone

I'm watching you rot away  
Under dirt    
Minus the body face or the earth    
I was inspired by the way you would    
Serve as a way to break the boundaries    
Between the hight stake players and worthless, life was rotten paperless I rocked some Nikes that held good conversation before the fire way I would smerk with confidence I was the shyest kid, Outcast to my environment anime fan surrounded by project  gangster's and thotties that were trying to be like momy and papa before their time instead I was watching toonami, the only times they liked me is when you was beside me since I was 10, that's why these last year's watching you die is like I'm loosing my light I had grousom insight from you but I used it to fight and you made me cool when I didn't have the power too, you gave me the tools I used to this day to inspire groups    
You challenged my mind to maximize my entire view and it's like now that I've finally grew I'm leaving you behind hobbie....    
actually feel sad inside    
Your the only one that actually understand it, I'm talking to you while preparing your casket reflecting on the past when you would pop up out of the damn air like.    
Write this down, and stare..    
Read it again make sure it sounds right inside of my head    
Amazed at what we would accomplish    
With just an idea now I barley ever see ya    
You never come to me and it haunts me  It's 2:43 in the morning and I'm not sleeping.....    
I usually have insomnia    
But what keeps me up at night is you    
Now it's just a late night and I'm forcing   The truth I used be love the way we play with English speak it backwards used metaphors and smilies to send a message now we just distant    
At this moment I miss you passion.    
Fuck I really miss you passion.

Stabed in my chest and
Stacked with regrets but I manage
to stress this, packaged with rarest
Perception in all the spectrum,
I'm setting my self on fire
Off the wire wired like
Narc under pressure.
Cause I been off tryna find myself
Like my stomach fat and I'm lacking
In dick length.
I'm asking questions that no man would answer or question
Why are humans driven in life when deaths here what's the point in fighting for something that's short lived.
Why don't just taste a bullet the thoughts there but not in a  suicidal sense cause Im sad or incomplete
But to see what's after sleep
I thirst for a peek
Searching the streets unique schools but it seem that this word is just bleak.
I'm inbetween mine as well sink and not tasting defeat.
Is it just me?