deepundergroundpoetry.com
SPARED
my disease was loneliness
bubbling up from
a chasm tucked under the ribs
a skeletal soul
repugnant
draped across the wire
as though waiting for redemption
still, the angels
did their best for me
circling my boat
keeping me anchored
praying the gods to blow their storms
to distant places
where harder faces bore their wrath,
fought the good fight
and took their losses
mike and phillip
luke and lisa
all broken by circumstance
ruined or dead
and me left here
to wonder
bubbling up from
a chasm tucked under the ribs
a skeletal soul
repugnant
draped across the wire
as though waiting for redemption
still, the angels
did their best for me
circling my boat
keeping me anchored
praying the gods to blow their storms
to distant places
where harder faces bore their wrath,
fought the good fight
and took their losses
mike and phillip
luke and lisa
all broken by circumstance
ruined or dead
and me left here
to wonder
Written by
javalini
Published 4th Aug 2020
Author's Note
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/poems/57586/on-earth-were-briefly-gorgeous
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 2
comments 13
reads 573
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. SPARED
4th Aug 2020 1:54pm
A work of sadness laced with a little hope. Seems timely for this time in history. I hope you are just the messenger J....💕🙏
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Re: Re. SPARED
4th Aug 2020 2:42pm
Thank you, A.
I am having my battle with the dreaded Covid, but have been luckier than many. This may be a poem about luck, as I am a grateful soul who has been blessed with a certain "dark" luck all my life. Covid lingers, though. I can't wait to feel better.
Thank you again.
J.
I am having my battle with the dreaded Covid, but have been luckier than many. This may be a poem about luck, as I am a grateful soul who has been blessed with a certain "dark" luck all my life. Covid lingers, though. I can't wait to feel better.
Thank you again.
J.
Re. SPARED
Anonymous
4th Aug 2020 1:57pm
Excellent use of metsphor, Jav! Glad to see you still throwing your hat into the CCComp ring. Best of luck in the judging!
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Re: Re. SPARED
Thank you, Johnny.
I do love these comps. Though I don't always participate, they are usually inspirational and influential. They let a little fresh air in, as i tend to get locked into what I like, and I have discovered some great ones I'd otherwise miss.
Thanks for that, as well.
J.
And thanks for that poem of the month nomination. What an honor.
I do love these comps. Though I don't always participate, they are usually inspirational and influential. They let a little fresh air in, as i tend to get locked into what I like, and I have discovered some great ones I'd otherwise miss.
Thanks for that, as well.
J.
And thanks for that poem of the month nomination. What an honor.
Re: Re. SPARED
Anonymous
4th Aug 2020 4:11pm
You betcha! I forgot to tell you about that LOL
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Re. SPARED
4th Aug 2020 3:25pm
Dear J,
“still, the angels
did their best for me” I love this phrase. When I read the piece in its entirety that kept popping back to me trying to express my guardian angels are on call 24/7 if only I’d pay attention every now and again to their hard work. 👼 I’m a little slow with the uptake. What I considered so poignant about your write is the teetering back and forth of being grateful to being here and sorrowful for those who aren't.
I hope you feel better very quickly and all the best in the comp. H🌷
“still, the angels
did their best for me” I love this phrase. When I read the piece in its entirety that kept popping back to me trying to express my guardian angels are on call 24/7 if only I’d pay attention every now and again to their hard work. 👼 I’m a little slow with the uptake. What I considered so poignant about your write is the teetering back and forth of being grateful to being here and sorrowful for those who aren't.
I hope you feel better very quickly and all the best in the comp. H🌷
0
Re: Re. SPARED
4th Aug 2020 3:51pm
Thank you, Honoria, for your kind and thoughtful comments.
Stay safe and well.
J.
Stay safe and well.
J.
Re. SPARED
4th Aug 2020 3:40pm
Love the drift of this ... like on the sea ... the different ... random indentations ... throwing me off balance as I read ... excellent poeting ... a definite deeper ... good luck ...
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Re: Re. SPARED
4th Aug 2020 5:30pm
Re. SPARED
4th Aug 2020 6:30pm
VeryVery identifying write.
Nice movement, energy.
Somber sensibility for those folks
mentioned at the end.
Nice movement, energy.
Somber sensibility for those folks
mentioned at the end.
0
Re: Re. SPARED
4th Aug 2020 7:40pm
Re. SPARED
6th Aug 2020 6:22pm
"my disease was loneliness
bubbling up from
a chasm tucked under the ribs"
Wow, what a start to this poem. There are so many epic verses in this spill.
Great work!
bubbling up from
a chasm tucked under the ribs"
Wow, what a start to this poem. There are so many epic verses in this spill.
Great work!
0
Re: Re. SPARED
6th Aug 2020 6:58pm
I'm so glad you enjoyed this poem, I.
Thank you much for reading and for your kind comments.
J.
Thank you much for reading and for your kind comments.
J.