Falling walls

I built tall walls, I’ll never let them fall.
My heart lost its last brawl so behind these walls I crawl. Life’s been unkind, fucked up my mind. Got sick of getting hurt, so brick by brick myself I confined. Nobody tried or asked why I had my walls so high. Wait that’s a lie...
There was one guy, who stood by my side, held me when I cried, so many tears he dried,
He was my ride or die. I was his Bonnie, he was my Clyde. if I got off track he’d guide me back, endless support he’d always supply. As friends we stride, but lovers we collide. I just couldn’t let him inside, my walls built to wide so he stood on the outside, I could see the pain it brought, feelings of distraught. But he still fought, it was my heart that he sought. We slowly grew apart. I did to him what was done to me, it left him down on his knees, in the debris of all my past damage he didn’t bring to me. He just wanted to set me free. But I wouldn’t give him the key...

Looking back there’s so much I wish I said. I would have told him what was in my head, the fear of getting hurt that I let spread, it caused our love to be put to bed. And even though I seemed cold my heart still bled, maybe if I told him, today I could still hold him, I wish I was bold talked about my doubts, I know he would have consoled me, but I let my insecurities control me. It’s what I get, it’s my debt, something I’ll always regret. I still wake up in a cold sweat, Reaching for a cigarette, when I dream of him, I get so upset because I can’t go back to the day we met, in my dreams is the only time I can see his silhouette. I know we can’t reset, I’ve become a threat. He always said he’d forgive but I know in my soul he can never forget.