sexually myself

i been struggling with myself for years
mostly about be ok with my naked body
nothing is as it appears
i wish i could open up to somebody

maybe its because of some events of the past
maybe one day i will write about such events
sometimes i feel like an outcast
i always feel tense

for a while, i felt uncomfortable being naked
it made me feel ashamed
i want to be more awakened
i was so tamed

even to pleasure myself i have to be in the dark
i prefer to be under the covers
some pain leaves a bad mark
so many things to uncover

i try to test myself to different limits
i tell myself it's ok not to be afraid
seeing myself in a different image
hopefully, these fears will soon fade