Holiday Wank

It's difficult when you're young
When your hormones pump and you're highly strung
You just wanna release and
Get that dick standing to attention
On holiday without my porn collection
In the days before mobile phones
Me and my imagination were on our own.

What's a young boy to do
Hiding out in the loo
Attacking it, whacking it, rubbing it down
Til it makes that fapping sound.
My parents are in the next room.
I don't want them to hear me
Put a towel on the floor
By the gap under the door
Hope they can't hear any more.

Quickly pumping out my issue
Squirting it on the toilet tissue
Screw it up, chuck it down the pan
Flush it away as quick as I can
Some deodorant to cover the smell
Spray it on my hand as well
Success, mission accomplished
Now off down the front for cod and chips.