Erotica Sans Mess

I saw her wearing that *revealing attire* and desperately felt my *direct reference to an erection*

When I closed my eyes I imagined we were *long poetic diatribe outlining various positions of coitus, probably also involving an array of makeshift lubricants*

She screamed *expletive, expletive, my name, expletive inappropriate reference to God expletive*

Finally it was too much and I knew I had to make my Dream a reality.

I approached her in the coffee shop I knew she went to every Thursday, as I had been tracking her movements.

I said, “Hey baby... how about we *what would typically follow here is something so unbelievably sexy that its omission is necessary for all readers attempting to approach this work from an unclouded and unbiased perspective. My words have been known to be weapons and this would have been one for the books. Undoubtedly, the readers at home would have been overcome with new and strange emotions- men and women would leave their wives and husbands. No, y’all ain’t ready to read precisely what I said to this girl*,”

She replied, “sure”

Back at my place I put on some *albums clearly intended to set the mood*

I asked if she wanted some *alcohol*

She said, “*expletive* yeah”

When she wasn’t looking, I slipped a *drug sometimes used to incapacitate someone* into her *alcohol*

She slowly drifted off to sleep

I proceeded to *expletive expletive, makeshift lubricants and cowboy hats, video camera, ball gag, machines from
Wish.com*

She didn’t mind at all when she woke up. I had read her right. This girl was a *slang term for adventurous and tenacious female*

I seized the day, Carpe Diem. Someone like this doesn’t come along every day. I worked up the nerve and I asked her. She smiled and nodded yes

That’s how I got my first Blumkin