Submissions by Jermainesplain
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction I am Jermaine Isaiah Duncan from Bowie. Poetry is my blood
EROTIC POEM
Published
17th Aug 2020 11:31am
17th Aug 2020 11:31am
Check Out The Mamories On That One
I’d like the lather up those milk factories and give her a well buttered bruskie... lemme tell yah
What’s the cup size of those glorious meat hills, anyways?
How’s bouts you silicon shimmy on over her and lemme slap them baps with this here sausage staff?
Every time I see a nice pair of porncakes it takes me back in time
When I was a wee pup in my mother’s buffet line
Formula is for incels, that’s how it went
And even infant Jermaine pitched an impressive tent
For mommy
Ah... mommy
Let’s face the facts
This is why folks...
What’s the cup size of those glorious meat hills, anyways?
How’s bouts you silicon shimmy on over her and lemme slap them baps with this here sausage staff?
Every time I see a nice pair of porncakes it takes me back in time
When I was a wee pup in my mother’s buffet line
Formula is for incels, that’s how it went
And even infant Jermaine pitched an impressive tent
For mommy
Ah... mommy
Let’s face the facts
This is why folks...
#love
#women
#gratitude
#feminism
#admiration
72 reads
0 Comments
UPBEAT INSPIRATIONAL POEM
Published
17th Aug 2020 5:02am
17th Aug 2020 5:02am
Jermaine For President
Jermaine For President
2020
2020
#hope
#courage
#America
#admiration
#heroic
49 reads
0 Comments
EROTIC POEM
Published
9th Aug 2020 1:00pm
9th Aug 2020 1:00pm
Hey Austin, I f**ked Your Girl Candice
#lust
#sex
#erotic
#lies
#sensual
141 reads
4 Comments
UPBEAT INSPIRATIONAL POEM
Published
4th Aug 2020 10:45am
4th Aug 2020 10:45am
Yelp Review
Last time I went out for a meal
It cost more than the tab
Diarrhea on the docket
And skid marks in the cab
I was up all night hunched over
Heaving out all that was left
What a way to spend an evening
My compliments to the chef
Cold sweats inside my bedroom
And fevered toilet dreams
I never should have followed fish
With chocolate chip ice cream
An entire pint of bourbon
Was a mistake I must confess
Lord, just get me to tomorrow
My compliments to the chef
Twitching at the...
It cost more than the tab
Diarrhea on the docket
And skid marks in the cab
I was up all night hunched over
Heaving out all that was left
What a way to spend an evening
My compliments to the chef
Cold sweats inside my bedroom
And fevered toilet dreams
I never should have followed fish
With chocolate chip ice cream
An entire pint of bourbon
Was a mistake I must confess
Lord, just get me to tomorrow
My compliments to the chef
Twitching at the...
#strength
#courage
#food
#illness
#determination
94 reads
4 Comments
UPBEAT INSPIRATIONAL POEM
Published
26th Jul 2020 3:43pm
26th Jul 2020 3:43pm
Rape Sells Volume 2
Take heed, young poet- and hear me now
What the people want is not high brow
I’ve declared myself the gutter king
Smut sovereign over everything
And it’s blumkins before wedding bells
In this twisted game of show and tell
Tasteful limericks are not allowed
Hoist the flag and take the vow
Go ask Ghislaine Maxwell
She’ll tell you plainly that rape sells
What the people want is not high brow
I’ve declared myself the gutter king
Smut sovereign over everything
And it’s blumkins before wedding bells
In this twisted game of show and tell
Tasteful limericks are not allowed
Hoist the flag and take the vow
Go ask Ghislaine Maxwell
She’ll tell you plainly that rape sells
#courage
#admiration
#respect
#heroic
#determination
99 reads
1 Comment
UPBEAT INSPIRATIONAL POEM
Published
26th Jul 2020 9:13am
26th Jul 2020 9:13am
Ode To The Greatest Movie Ever Made
Waterworld had a huge impact
It helped me get my life on track
Every morning I drink piss
You can thank Kevin Costner for this
A salty way
To start the day
Chugging urine from a thermos
You can thank Kevin Costner for this
And I tried to do just that
I tweeted “thanks” but he didn’t tweet back
What’s so hard to understand
Some sailors never reach Dry Land
Another thing I like to do
Is give little girls back tattoos
And wage wars in hot air balloons
And fuck random women in lagoons
I also...
It helped me get my life on track
Every morning I drink piss
You can thank Kevin Costner for this
A salty way
To start the day
Chugging urine from a thermos
You can thank Kevin Costner for this
And I tried to do just that
I tweeted “thanks” but he didn’t tweet back
What’s so hard to understand
Some sailors never reach Dry Land
Another thing I like to do
Is give little girls back tattoos
And wage wars in hot air balloons
And fuck random women in lagoons
I also...
#water
73 reads
0 Comments
EROTIC POEM
Published
26th Jul 2020 4:02am
26th Jul 2020 4:02am
Rape Sells
I tried to sell
A volume of poetry
To a certain publishing house
A few months back
I met with a representative
Who claimed her name was Darcey
She had an immense forehead
And bad Botox on her lips
She claimed she liked some of my stuff
The more visceral poems
But didn’t fully believe the rest
She didn’t trust my youthful erection at my mother’s funeral
Or the sex I had with vague consent
She told me, “look... Rape sells- but Jermaine, you are not a rapist, and we both know it”
...
A volume of poetry
To a certain publishing house
A few months back
I met with a representative
Who claimed her name was Darcey
She had an immense forehead
And bad Botox on her lips
She claimed she liked some of my stuff
The more visceral poems
But didn’t fully believe the rest
She didn’t trust my youthful erection at my mother’s funeral
Or the sex I had with vague consent
She told me, “look... Rape sells- but Jermaine, you are not a rapist, and we both know it”
...
#abuse
#MeToo
#LifeAsAWriter
#UnrequitedLove
#ForbiddenLove
110 reads
0 Comments
UPBEAT INSPIRATIONAL POEM
Published
23rd Jul 2020 3:41pm
23rd Jul 2020 3:41pm
People Watching
Every time
I go to lick
The sugar off the pixie stick
I grin and stare
At John and Claire
Who run back to mumsy, on the quick
I go to lick
The sugar off the pixie stick
I grin and stare
At John and Claire
Who run back to mumsy, on the quick
#love
#children
#family
80 reads
3 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
21st Jul 2020 12:41pm
21st Jul 2020 12:41pm
I’d rather have a moped than a wife
There’s a certain kind of vehicle I’ve seen
Not a segway or a motorcycle, but something in between
I’d ride that thing in circles all my life
Cause I’d rather have a moped than a wife
Mopeds never flirt with guys they meet
Don’t put you down unless they hit some black ice on the street
Don’t prattle on and cause you endless strife
I’d rather have a moped than a wife
If I died on a moped folks would laugh
And when I got to heaven I’d demand my money back
But a spouse will...
Not a segway or a motorcycle, but something in between
I’d ride that thing in circles all my life
Cause I’d rather have a moped than a wife
Mopeds never flirt with guys they meet
Don’t put you down unless they hit some black ice on the street
Don’t prattle on and cause you endless strife
I’d rather have a moped than a wife
If I died on a moped folks would laugh
And when I got to heaven I’d demand my money back
But a spouse will...
#love
80 reads
0 Comments
UPBEAT INSPIRATIONAL POEM
Published
20th Jul 2020 12:22pm
20th Jul 2020 12:22pm
How to Make a Shit Cake
Ingredients:
1 cup white sugar
½ cup butter
2 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 cups of human excrement
1 ½ cups all-purpose flour
1 ¾ teaspoons baking powder
½ cup milk
Step 1
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour a 9x9 inch pan or line a muffin pan with paper liners.
Step 2
In a medium bowl, cream together the sugar and butter. Beat in the eggs, one at a time, then stir in the vanilla. Combine flour and baking powder, add to the creamed...
1 cup white sugar
½ cup butter
2 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 cups of human excrement
1 ½ cups all-purpose flour
1 ¾ teaspoons baking powder
½ cup milk
Step 1
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour a 9x9 inch pan or line a muffin pan with paper liners.
Step 2
In a medium bowl, cream together the sugar and butter. Beat in the eggs, one at a time, then stir in the vanilla. Combine flour and baking powder, add to the creamed...
#love
87 reads
2 Comments
EROTIC POEM
Published
20th Jul 2020 12:08pm
20th Jul 2020 12:08pm
Fist f**king A Parakeet
#love
167 reads
4 Comments
DRUGS POEM
Published
17th Jul 2020 4:58pm
17th Jul 2020 4:58pm
Cocaine is the Ultimate Artificial Sweetener
Here’s what I do every morning when I wake up...
I get that coffee percolating
I take a swig of some cheap whiskey
And if I’m feeling frisky
I masturbate into a shower cap
I light a pall mall and sit out back
with my Dick hanging out of the boxer flap
in case a neighbor wants to check out my goods
And catch a glimpse of my morning wood
And after an early toke
I do a line of stepped on coke
Then I use the cocaine to sweeten my coffee
And I’m ready to greet the day before...
I get that coffee percolating
I take a swig of some cheap whiskey
And if I’m feeling frisky
I masturbate into a shower cap
I light a pall mall and sit out back
with my Dick hanging out of the boxer flap
in case a neighbor wants to check out my goods
And catch a glimpse of my morning wood
And after an early toke
I do a line of stepped on coke
Then I use the cocaine to sweeten my coffee
And I’m ready to greet the day before...
#determination
84 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by Jermainesplain
