Tommy Cobain

A black subject but well done. The best is the all the same rhymes made sense. I love doing that myself. It's a challenge.

Thank you so much. I try to make each of my writing a challenge one way or another.

Once you start, does it flow naturally or is it a struggle? I’m just curious because, most of the time, when I start a poem, it takes me where it wants to go, and it wants to end, it ends.

I freestyle rap a lot so the rhymes come naturally. But when I actually sit down and write, I challenge myself by setting goals such as "two rhymes per line" or "same rhyme throughout the entire piece". I also try to implement word-play which may or may not go over people's heads when they read it, but it's there in case someone does catch it, it's satisfying.
An example of word-play in this poem is the line "I'm broke in the heart, and it's looking for change". Double entendre on “broke” and “change”.
- A broken heart seeking some changes in his life.
- A broke (financially poor) heart looking for loose change.

The heaviness of your writing I truly hope isn't the heaviness of your soul. As gloomy and doomful as this poem is, the rhyming that never deviates from the core of the meaning is impeccable. I'm a little dark myself, but nothing like this, yet this drew me in and made me see a little better what it must be like in comfortable darkness. Very well written.

I truly appreciate this comment. It means the world to me. Thank you so much!

🔥👌