too lost

i found a way home
then lost the home i found
they told me to leave and never come back
why did they do this?
why did they invite me in and then leave me in the cold.
those bastards all they wanted was to know me!
why did they desert me?
keep me away then come back for more.
if there was another choice would i have made it?
no,
the breaking of my soul nothing more nothing less
where did it go?
how far do i have to roam to find what is lost?
is there such think as too lost?
why would there be such a thing?
forever lost is more than enough for me.
i am forever lost in insanity and pain.
pain that people have cause me to feel
its like your first day in school and they as you if you know the alphabet,
my alphabet is of pain.

a-ass holes who left me
b-been with the crowd too long
c-cant look back without a frown
d-drugs
e-enough of life
f-fucking hate them
g-got enough of the high
h-hot enough to get what i want
i-if there was another choice
j-just cant stop
k-killing myself from the inside out
l-let me know when your ready
m-mighty ego to keep
n-not enough strength to keep going
o-open mind
p-passive nature, not me
q-questionable ethics
r-raised to the t
s-sex, never been there
t-true life
u-undergoing change
v-very ecstatic
w-where have i gone?
x-x actly what i needed
y-you were my friend
z-zoo, it was the first place that made me happy and the last place i expected heart break.

the first thing people will as you is your name,
can you lose that too?