deepundergroundpoetry.com
Restless
My body demands it's sleep,
But on my mind you keep.
I am restless.
My dreams want me,
But images of you are all i see.
I am restless.
Sleep, is all i want to do,
But my heart aches for you.
I am restless.
Rest is all i seek,
But you've got me so weak.
I am restless.
The night desires to consume me,
But you're all i see.
I am restless.
My body fights my heart,
You've got me falling apart.
I am restless.
You have consumed my every thought,
Yes honey, im caught.
You are all i want, all i need.
so every night, for your love, i plead.
I am restless......
But on my mind you keep.
I am restless.
My dreams want me,
But images of you are all i see.
I am restless.
Sleep, is all i want to do,
But my heart aches for you.
I am restless.
Rest is all i seek,
But you've got me so weak.
I am restless.
The night desires to consume me,
But you're all i see.
I am restless.
My body fights my heart,
You've got me falling apart.
I am restless.
You have consumed my every thought,
Yes honey, im caught.
You are all i want, all i need.
so every night, for your love, i plead.
I am restless......
Published 14th Jan 2012
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14th Jan 2012 7:35am
This would probably benefit from a lighter touch of repetition. I'd take out half or more of the "I am restless" lines, maybe condense the stanzas.
Repetition can be used very powerfully as a subtlety, something to tie a work together at key points. Overuse of repetition feels somewhat like being rapped on the head over and over.
Repetition can be used very powerfully as a subtlety, something to tie a work together at key points. Overuse of repetition feels somewhat like being rapped on the head over and over.
