Undiagnosed

I wish I was an alcoholic.
Because at least I’d know
what my problem is.
I could put a finger on it.
But what I have has eluded me,
all my life,
Quite possibly by my own
masking of the truth,
I’ve pretended for so long to be ok
To find distractions,
just to get me through the day
To not let my in-normalcy
keep me from appearing normal
Even though I’m trapped inside
Lost in the confusion of my mind!
I’ve been telling myself nothing’s
wrong with me for so long
I’d started to believe it!
Nothing could be further from the truth
The truth is,
I don’t have a clue what’s wrong with me
and I never knew I needed help with it.
Until now.
And now...

I don’t know how to ask for it