old habits crawl away

I've been a roach in my own house,
sneaking time
and solitude
and food
when none of the others are around -
finger in the peanut butter
every now and then,
just to suck on it...

I've done my best
not to be seen
and not to bother anyone,
to get it when
I won't be a disturbance,

to just eat off what's left.
I'd get
damn lost
in these walls,
in this stealing to live,
again and again.

But roaches don't get guilty,
do they?

So I've been growing into something else
these days.

Something like the morning
that scares those bugs
away.