The Death of My Resolve

You sneak up on me at work, at home, and in my dreams. Your kiss sets fire to my senses. And even though it burns, I can't pull away. You make this bruised dark little heart of mine begin to beat again. I take your hand to my chest and try to utter an explaination of the phenomenon thats happening just beneath the skin. There are no words that I'm not afraid to say. You make me a coward. And though I don't like it one bit, I have no choice but to accept it. I tell you I have to distance myself from you. To try to harden this heart thats about to beat wildly out of control. Pain explodes threw my entire being as I say the word goodbye. I've been staring down at my feet and when I look up confusion is evident across your gorgous face. I blink back tears and say a silent prayer in hopes that you didn't see them. Your soft brown eyes widen when you grasp the concept. And then your eyes soften and you won't let me look away. You could tell stories with those eyes. They hold my gaze and you say, "don't get too hard". O Baby please don't say that. I can feel my knees begin to get weak. Are they shaking? I can't tell. I sit down before my knees give completely. Right at this moment I want ever so much to hold you, to kiss you, to live in that heaven just one more time. You light a cigarette, take a drag, and pass it to me. I take a drag and inhale deeply. O God how I need this small crutch. I let it out and but it doesn't help ease my nerves. I take another drag and hold it a little longer. I exhale, look over at you, and wonder how did it get this far. With each heartbeat of my life without you. I can feel it. And I want to crawl into you, I want to lay with you, and forget about my resolve. Forget about being strong and doing the right thing. Your eyes never waiver. You don't even breath. I get up and turn to go. The second my foot hits the floor I know, I'm not leaving. I whirl around and catch your mouth with mine. And thus is the death of my resolve.