Devil Eyes

I went back.
I feasted on crow.  
  
I knew all the answers you wanted me to know  
   
I looked at you with love in my eyes
I was the one who put the past aside,  
On my hope.  
   
On my hope.  
   
You'll never know the hearts I laid bare,    
that day that you never believed how much I cared.  
My different hearts on different days,  
yet breaking always. 

The pained colors of "what if" became my only scheme.
   
What if I wasn't calm?  
What if I could make myself belong
and just say that I was wrong?  
   
You taught me all the wrong lessons    
and you planted only weeds.  
I wish simply wish  I could touch your soul,  
and show it the love it needs.  
   
I've almost texted a thousand times,  
a heart cleverly caught.  
but you have never even lifted your fingers,  
because I was a calculated thought.  
   
I know you love me,  
I know its true,  
but your love is unwell,  
and suffocates me blue.    
  
 
But all I have to give  
to this misstepped dance  
the broken love I learned from you  
and we never stood a chance  
 
I think the pain within you    
eclipses more pain than I'll ever know,  
and as my empathy implored me do  
subservience I offered to you too.  
 
   
I wish with everything in my soul  
that I could look you in your beautiful eyes,  
the only thing that took its toll,  
were the crocodile tears from your eyes.  
 
 So I can't anymore  
And I won't even defend or try,  
because it is forevermore that  
I'll be the one with the devils eyes.