deepundergroundpoetry.com
Our World
We live in a world where children give up their religion just to fit in
Where mothers cry for their babies wondering if they’ll live to see 16.
Growing up on the streets is the only way to live.
You have to be dependant on drugs in order to get by.
Some children will never make it to college,
They will never understand what it means to be alive,
Some will never make it through to the next day.
All because they give up.
All because they never had a choice.
All because they couldn’t fight.
(I could really use some help with this,please and thank you<3)
Where mothers cry for their babies wondering if they’ll live to see 16.
Growing up on the streets is the only way to live.
You have to be dependant on drugs in order to get by.
Some children will never make it to college,
They will never understand what it means to be alive,
Some will never make it through to the next day.
All because they give up.
All because they never had a choice.
All because they couldn’t fight.
(I could really use some help with this,please and thank you<3)
Published 8th Jan 2012
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8th Jan 2012 2:47pm
Some will be glad to help, but why revisit what you felt at that time. Do you search for a master piece, or just want to get it out. I went to war even though I had a chance at grad. school. Now our children are dying for their education too. If society wasn't so f#^ked up. They should all be able to go to school.
All because they gave up
Always to think they have no choice
Forgetting about their freedom of voice
For some they were not fit to serve
Left to sit down and left to observe
Outcastes because their parents don't make enough
Leaving them hopeless,and uneducated in the streets so ruff
They have passed many laws and many bills
But without this education we lack these skills
Their are ones that are pulled from jail to fight
Giving them the freedom: an education which was our right
Murders, villains, and more even grotesque
Let's speak our minds as we protest
Give our children a freedom of school
To see wasted youth; society is too cruel
Not being able to land a good paying job
Forcing them a life to steal and rob
Just food for thought. Didn't know which way you were going with this. I do not want to step on your feelings. On the other hand it's a topic that needs addressed and most to see. Great write so far.
All because they gave up
Always to think they have no choice
Forgetting about their freedom of voice
For some they were not fit to serve
Left to sit down and left to observe
Outcastes because their parents don't make enough
Leaving them hopeless,and uneducated in the streets so ruff
They have passed many laws and many bills
But without this education we lack these skills
Their are ones that are pulled from jail to fight
Giving them the freedom: an education which was our right
Murders, villains, and more even grotesque
Let's speak our minds as we protest
Give our children a freedom of school
To see wasted youth; society is too cruel
Not being able to land a good paying job
Forcing them a life to steal and rob
Just food for thought. Didn't know which way you were going with this. I do not want to step on your feelings. On the other hand it's a topic that needs addressed and most to see. Great write so far.
9th Jan 2012 2:42pm
I think it's more that I just want to get it out and usually I don't add on or revise my work,but lately I have been wanting too.I haven't written in quite some time and what I have has been very short little snippits. I don't feel any inspiration really and I can't tell if it's forced or not. I don't even know if it's good ol' fashion Writer's Block either:S
Thank you for your help however,I always appreciate what feedback you seem willing to give:3 It's nice to know that someone at least helps.Not many people on here do,they'll read,but not supply anything. I guess my work is either to complex or to simplistic to get help or receive feedback sometimes? I dunno,well whatever the reason may be,thank you anyways and no your not "stepping on my feelings" lol I wrote this sometimes ago,most of my recent work,isn't really recent actually.It's all some stuff I wrote earlier in the year.But now that I seemed to have babbled on,I'll end this:S
Thank you for your help however,I always appreciate what feedback you seem willing to give:3 It's nice to know that someone at least helps.Not many people on here do,they'll read,but not supply anything. I guess my work is either to complex or to simplistic to get help or receive feedback sometimes? I dunno,well whatever the reason may be,thank you anyways and no your not "stepping on my feelings" lol I wrote this sometimes ago,most of my recent work,isn't really recent actually.It's all some stuff I wrote earlier in the year.But now that I seemed to have babbled on,I'll end this:S
