UNTITLED I NEED HELP PLS...

As that big bright star in the sky does rise;  
I gaze over where I lay with weary eyes;  
For the love of my life is not by my side.  

As I begin my day and step into the bath;  
I just cant help but feel "O" so very sad;  
For their is no one to carress my a**, bend me over...and "O" at last...  
 
As my day progresses anxiety overwhelms;  
For their is no I MISS YOU text or anyone to just check and see if Im doing well.  
 
As the work day concludes, and I return home;  
There is no aroma of a man...and i feel so very alone.  
 
As the day comes to an end...all the feelings yet begin;  
And I sensually & spiritually desire the insertion of a man.  
 
For I need a release;  
indeed my fingers are toying with my inner peace.  
 
But I have too much pride to just pick up the phone and call him;  
For he is indeed closer than a lover...much more than a friend;  
I cant keep blurring the lines though...its so unfair to him...  
 
Yet i want the "D" so bad...its so big and black;  
I can recall the last time he was inside (damn near broke my back).  
 
That's it...I'm gonna call his phone...I think thats more intimate than just sending a message;  
His phone rings endlessly before a woman answers: Hello this is ___ phone, I'm his ___ he's not here/can I take a message?  
 
I dropped the phone as tears rolled down my swollen eyes (all these men are the same...I feel so screwed...figuratively):  
I turned on my side...and squirt and cried;  
(As I yet again...screwed myself...literally).
 
He always said he wanted to be more than just FWB...but I pushed him away;  
Now that I need his touch the most;  
His with another B**CH!  
(And she has the audacity to actually answer his phone);  
Guess it's really too late & he'll never know how I truly felt all along. S**T!  
 
As that big bright star in the sky does rise;  
I gaze over where I lay with weary eyes;  
For the love of my life is not by my side.