Gone

Hello there...
Please look at me.
I'm right here.
Why am I me?
 
You can't see me.
They can't hear my voice.
I can not believe  
I am in an invisible void.
 
I am ignored  
And it hurts really bad.
I am not a shore
But I'm drowning and going mad.
 
When people hear me
See me and pay attention
They believe me to be annoying
And then I become transparent.
 
I repeat things over and over.
I try to get attention.
But nobody sees my closing doors.
Everyone wants to hear my voice deafen.
 
My friends, my family
I am ignored by all.
I want them to notice me  
but they don't want to see me rise or fall.
 
They wonder why I'm irritated.
They wonder why I am mad.
They wonder why I am suffocated.
It's because I'm permanently sad.
 
I am sad because I'm gone.  
Or might as well be.
Why am I holding on?
I might as well leave.  
 
I wish a day I am not transparent.
I have a dream I can be found.
But at this rate I will become apparent
After I am coffin bound.
 
I don't want to talk anymore.
I don't know why I do.  
Maybe if I stop trying to swim to shore
I can just be a 'who'.
 
I guess I'm nothing and this is it.  
If you care come to me.  
I am sorry I am doing this.
I know its wrong but I'm annoying.
 
But you don't care do you?
If you did you would hear and see
That I am dying and believe I am doomed.
So don't come to my grave because if you cared, I wouldn't be here.
 
I can't disappear if I was never here...