deepundergroundpoetry.com
She...
As tears run down her face,
she realized she's made a big mistake.
An utter suffocation,
she's trying to hold on.
But the pain,
the pain's too strong.
The blood's running down her wrist
Her eyes are going shut
but she's trying to hold on
while voices in her head are saying something is going wrong.
She doesn't know where she is or even why she did it.
It started with a razor and a few little cuts.
But became addictive and she cut too much...
Now she's laying on her bed,
wishing she could go back.
As the world disappears and everything goes black.
she realized she's made a big mistake.
An utter suffocation,
she's trying to hold on.
But the pain,
the pain's too strong.
The blood's running down her wrist
Her eyes are going shut
but she's trying to hold on
while voices in her head are saying something is going wrong.
She doesn't know where she is or even why she did it.
It started with a razor and a few little cuts.
But became addictive and she cut too much...
Now she's laying on her bed,
wishing she could go back.
As the world disappears and everything goes black.
Published 2nd Jan 2012
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Anonymous
- Edited 6th Jan 2012 1:46pm
6th Jan 2012 12:38pm
Welcome home Miss Beauty,
DU is a good place for you to be.
I spent today reading your (8) pieces published this far. I am very pleased I did.
Of them I love this one the most. I like the cold raw honesty of the write, but I also like the cold tone of voice and the beautiful clinical feel of the overall write.
The closing line, is the strongest you have used thus far...
"As the world disappears and everything goes black."
Hard and punchy.
Thank you kindly for writing it, I loved reading it!
Blue Skies at you.
Al-x-
DU is a good place for you to be.
I spent today reading your (8) pieces published this far. I am very pleased I did.
Of them I love this one the most. I like the cold raw honesty of the write, but I also like the cold tone of voice and the beautiful clinical feel of the overall write.
The closing line, is the strongest you have used thus far...
"As the world disappears and everything goes black."
Hard and punchy.
Thank you kindly for writing it, I loved reading it!
Blue Skies at you.
Al-x-
6th Jan 2012 12:48pm
Wow.. Thanks but this one is the shortest of all and really not my favorite. I wrote this about a relationship between me and my friend, we both had the exact same dream.. We dreamed of each other dying in a brutal self inflicted way. We joked about the weirdness and then this piece just came out.. I thought it was silly..
