deepundergroundpoetry.com
Captured with words
Could I use my pen to make a lasso with words?
Something I could throw around your heart.
That way you'd always be mine.
Is there a way to make a prison with what I write?
Somewhere I can keep you for myself till the end of days?
Something I could throw around your heart.
That way you'd always be mine.
Is there a way to make a prison with what I write?
Somewhere I can keep you for myself till the end of days?
Published 4th Jan 2020
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
4th Jan 2020 7:45pm
Don't tug on that Lasso'd knot too much
else You squeeze out the lust (love?) You try to capture........
For a critique,
i am not certain You caught the gist of the emotion with the words You spilled
Just my read...........but i still liked Your spill, here
else You squeeze out the lust (love?) You try to capture........
For a critique,
i am not certain You caught the gist of the emotion with the words You spilled
Just my read...........but i still liked Your spill, here
4th Jan 2020 9:25pm
Thanks for the input. I think youre absolutely right.
When I first wrote it I loved it but as I go back to it, it almost seems hollow. It lacks the depth I wanted.
When I first wrote it I loved it but as I go back to it, it almost seems hollow. It lacks the depth I wanted.
20th Jul 2020 8:25am
