The Little Blue Pills.

Disconnected from reality,
I sway in and out.
Sometimes I see shadowy figures,
In dark corners and they often mock me.

Waves of regret hit me hard,
And knock me right off of my feet ,
And then I am suddenly lost in the middle,
Of a never ending ocean.

I feel like I am never sorry enough.
Words leave my lips faster than I can blink,
Faster than my brain can think,
And right when I realize where I am,
I quickly start to sink, I am lost.

There is an emptiness that takes over,
The entirety of my chest.
It's like an infectious disease that decays,
everything It consumes.

I feel the most safe when shadowed,
In darkness, I am more comfortable staying,
In the unknown, staying unseen, unheard.
I have learned that silence can keep you safe,
Keep you from being hurt, from pain.