deepundergroundpoetry.com
MYSELF FIRST
MYSELF FIRST
I reflect why brothers always look with eyes
of abhorrence at their kin though they all have
been engendered in one home by parents shared,
and they spent the greatest time under one roof.
People having the same post always compete;
teachers, lawyers always fight to reach the peak.
Children also see that post which always winks,
and the children read that wink and strive to it.
Selfishness, you are the jewel that all men
keep aspiring to attain ere they gain love.
Let me get my self-esteem; with what is left,
I will remember my brothers as a gift.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
____________________________________
I reflect why brothers always look with eyes
of abhorrence at their kin though they all have
been engendered in one home by parents shared,
and they spent the greatest time under one roof.
People having the same post always compete;
teachers, lawyers always fight to reach the peak.
Children also see that post which always winks,
and the children read that wink and strive to it.
Selfishness, you are the jewel that all men
keep aspiring to attain ere they gain love.
Let me get my self-esteem; with what is left,
I will remember my brothers as a gift.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
____________________________________
Published 30th Nov 2019
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The author encourages honest critique.
Are you serious?
It is simply not true that "brothers always look with eyes of abhorrence at their kin"
Nor is it true that "People who have the same post (job?) always compete".
And it is nonsense to say that that selfishness is the jewel that all men (but not women?) keep aspiring to attain before they gain love. What evidence to do you have that supports this claim?
Furthermore, do you realize that when you say that you "reflect" certain facts (instead of saying "I reflect upon the facts that ...) you are saying that you throw back into the world why brothers do certain things without absorbing the reasons why they do so? Your expression is very poor English.
And what does anything that you wrote have to do with putting yourself first?
I am puzzled as to why you think, as you apparently do, that this all tell, no show prose in line breaks piece is poetry, not to mention well written poetry?
It is simply not true that "brothers always look with eyes of abhorrence at their kin"
Nor is it true that "People who have the same post (job?) always compete".
And it is nonsense to say that that selfishness is the jewel that all men (but not women?) keep aspiring to attain before they gain love. What evidence to do you have that supports this claim?
Furthermore, do you realize that when you say that you "reflect" certain facts (instead of saying "I reflect upon the facts that ...) you are saying that you throw back into the world why brothers do certain things without absorbing the reasons why they do so? Your expression is very poor English.
And what does anything that you wrote have to do with putting yourself first?
I am puzzled as to why you think, as you apparently do, that this all tell, no show prose in line breaks piece is poetry, not to mention well written poetry?
4th Dec 2019 10:55pm
Dear Baldwin,
Don't you know that reflect has another meaning which is TO CONSIDER.
Don't you know that reflect has another meaning which is TO CONSIDER.
