deepundergroundpoetry.com
mango
just picked this mango
from under it's tree
brought it up closer to see
it's peach and rose blush
it's firm yet pliant touch
the bouquet giving a rush
fully ripe darling
just like you
you're out of touch
lifting the peel gently
from this amber soft flesh
and mouthing it's softness
right to the seed
I'm eating this mango
but it's you that I need
you're at the office
helping to fund our love grove
the fruits of our labours
indeed a rich trove
juice is now running
down my forearm and chin
teasing the fibres out
just for a whim
thoughts rambling wildly
out of the blue
oh babe
I'm so lost without you
from under it's tree
brought it up closer to see
it's peach and rose blush
it's firm yet pliant touch
the bouquet giving a rush
fully ripe darling
just like you
you're out of touch
lifting the peel gently
from this amber soft flesh
and mouthing it's softness
right to the seed
I'm eating this mango
but it's you that I need
you're at the office
helping to fund our love grove
the fruits of our labours
indeed a rich trove
juice is now running
down my forearm and chin
teasing the fibres out
just for a whim
thoughts rambling wildly
out of the blue
oh babe
I'm so lost without you
Published 23rd Dec 2011
| Edited 24th Dec 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
reading list entries 0
comments 11
reads 1871
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The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
23rd Dec 2011 11:06pm
or Lucky lady ;) Nice and Juicy write! I enjoyed it
24th Dec 2011 00:14am
Thanks milkyway for your kind comment, nice to see you enjoyed it, hope your Christmas is a happy one, cheers;-)
jiminy
jiminy
Anonymous
24th Dec 2011 00:28am
thank you and A Merry Christmas to you too :)
24th Dec 2011 1:58am
Oh jiminy,
I am in total agreeance with milkyway! Gotta love a nice juicy fruit that runs down your chin!! ;-)
Well done jiminy. Hope you enjoy your Christmas - batten down hatches! And ho ho ho!
Cheers. Vixen ;-)
I am in total agreeance with milkyway! Gotta love a nice juicy fruit that runs down your chin!! ;-)
Well done jiminy. Hope you enjoy your Christmas - batten down hatches! And ho ho ho!
Cheers. Vixen ;-)
24th Dec 2011 4:11am
Hey vixen, thanks for your comments they are always treasured and yes nothing compares to a juicy ripe mango they should be eaten nude in a bath!! ;-))
we've battened down as you suggested and just keeping on with Christmas preparations, and I hope yours is a good one too! xxx
PS don't let that jolly ho ho ho fool you ace, Santa's a bit of a deviate really, what with cuming down chimneys and all, cheers, jiminy with no chimney ;-)
we've battened down as you suggested and just keeping on with Christmas preparations, and I hope yours is a good one too! xxx
PS don't let that jolly ho ho ho fool you ace, Santa's a bit of a deviate really, what with cuming down chimneys and all, cheers, jiminy with no chimney ;-)
24th Dec 2011 11:17am
Hi jiminy,
Hope everything is ok up there! Wishing you and your family a very merry one!
Hey, I don't have a chimney either... But, good on Santa... He can cum anywhere he wants - it's only once a year!!
Vixen ;-) best of luck and hold on tight - try not to get blown away!
Cheers!
Hope everything is ok up there! Wishing you and your family a very merry one!
Hey, I don't have a chimney either... But, good on Santa... He can cum anywhere he wants - it's only once a year!!
Vixen ;-) best of luck and hold on tight - try not to get blown away!
Cheers!
Hi vixen,
Thanks for thinking of me, you're very nice, so far so good, not too windy yet, I went through tracy and that's enough for one lifetime, but the weather being the unpredictable thing it is, you never know, bit like a wild woman, something to anticipate with a certain amount of trepidation, cheers ;-) jiminy
Thanks for thinking of me, you're very nice, so far so good, not too windy yet, I went through tracy and that's enough for one lifetime, but the weather being the unpredictable thing it is, you never know, bit like a wild woman, something to anticipate with a certain amount of trepidation, cheers ;-) jiminy
24th Dec 2011 2:13am
24th Dec 2011 10:45am
Thank you GoodGirl, nice comment, glad you liked it, have a Merry Christmas, cheers :-)
9th Jun 2012 8:05pm
jiminy, this poem is very vivid and erotic, which are its strongest traits.
A lot of feeling is conveyed by all of the lines, the only thing that bothers me somehow is the last line: "I'm so lost without you" Maybe Your artistic style is slightly lost on my person, but throughout Your poem, I had the feeling the narrative "me" was in full control, peeling and savoring the fruit and indulging in its richness. Being "lost without it" does not continue that image, in my opinion.
Still, a beautiful poem oozing with feeling
A lot of feeling is conveyed by all of the lines, the only thing that bothers me somehow is the last line: "I'm so lost without you" Maybe Your artistic style is slightly lost on my person, but throughout Your poem, I had the feeling the narrative "me" was in full control, peeling and savoring the fruit and indulging in its richness. Being "lost without it" does not continue that image, in my opinion.
Still, a beautiful poem oozing with feeling
Thank you for the critique and kind comments Ankyroth I see what you mean, it was a bit of a daydream, cheers :-)
