deepundergroundpoetry.com

A Little Ill, Mentally

Yesterday, I dug a hole
Threw into it some papers �
Little scraps tattered, wrinkled �
They had some thoughts �
Rushed, incoherent �
I had a manic day �
My mind was overflowing �
I thought about overthrowing �
The government, by myself �
I am a clown when I don't frown �
I can't remember what I said �
I just relive it through friends �
Who said: "you were so different yesterday" �
And I can't respond �
It's as if I was in another life �
I came back down, balling my eyes out �
It was a flood on the bathroom floor �
No one was around but the whole world saw �
My bloodshot eyes as I emerged �
Haphazardly staggering �
I wanted a razorblade �
I wanted a handgun �
I wanted something to numb �
All the pain I forgot I felt �
For a few hours �
��
Today I dug a hole �
The size of Rhode Island �
I want to bury myself �
So I don't humiliate myself �
So you don't think I'm crazy �
I'm not delusional �
I'm just unusual �
usually, I can't find happiness �
But when it strikes I cannot be contained �
And when it fades I am entirely drained �
Most of my friends think I'm insane �
But I'm just a little ill, mentally �
I exist only in extremes �
And I feel nothing casually.