Dang Of A Thang

'Oh deary me!' I recently rusted my dang of a thang
So now I can’t even amuse myself, by golly  
Even been trying da one, my cousin rented to me  
Never got the yearly service, due to the high costs, kerching  
Just a toppin’ up with the essential oils, for a nominal fee  
Just so busy, with a plantin’ it, smokin’ it, a bit like a rolly  
While galavanting about, this country’s dry and sunburnt soil  
Okay then, serve myself right, I shouldn’t second guess  
Should’ve just lubricated, after such a hard and grinding toil  
That dang of a thang, now take a look at the damn mess  
After every ounce of sweat and auto correct tweets  
After weird Tinder meets and almost all the surprise greets  
I can’t wait to play with again, my Chinese made, Yin & Yang  
My most pleasurable and double ended, dang of a thang.