the knowing

 
I'm feeling the energy of the place
sadness confounds me
I haven't had one voice in my head but many for a week
pushing in on me with their own feelings and ideas

can you believe it?
they even tell me what to do
stupid things like wear this shirt today
or don't skip your shower today
eat this food and don't pig out on the sodas

sometimes they are dark
I don't know what they are
my imagination? maybe
they are real to me

until I finally have had enough of freedom and power
and I'm convinced I should go back into the cage
the construct of the mind
where the God of my youth is in control

where I need not fear the beings of the universe
who inspect me closely because I'm an enigma
one the likes they've never seen before

they say I'm a powerful being not fully aware...that I need guarding
I entertain the notion...then I dismiss it
I don't want to hear or know

if they wish to silently control me while I go blindly about
it is preferable to hearing about the rules I must follow
the hierarchy and my part in it

I'm too rebellious
I can't follow the rules
and having the host attack me to get in line is tiring
sigh the personalities are exhausting
tonight things are quiet
my mind contained...they are content knowing I will go as led

I don't need to know
I don't want to know
and my t.v. pacifier is once again a comfort