"Violate (R.E.)"

I remember him raping me,
and I won't forget it.

He pulled my hair out,
and it hurt a little.

His eyes are still looking,
for the body that was me.

Under my clothing and skin,
I'm trying to get away but...

I'm afraid to say no.
Does that make this okay?

And his hands hurt my space,
and he won't let me go away.

I don't understand how he knows,
which ways to make me hurt.

Because he said that he loved me,
me not her,
and I know that he does.

I hate the rope burns,
and bruises on my thighs.

In the moments of this hurt,
I remember Matt my best friend.

And how he left two months ago,
and it makes me feel sad.

But Adam fills the space with him,
it hurts and I wish he'd stop...

Because I don't like this,
the tearing and ripping.

The shape, yes I know it,
it's really familiar and hard.

If I saw him from a mile away,
I could tell you it was him.

The freckles.
The quirky smile.
The small ears.
The thin jaw,
that clenched when angry.
Those flaming eyes,
burning at me from over my body.

God I could tell you,
the secrets he did.

But I know if I did,
he'd come back.

He'd kill me.