Representation of our lives as seen from space

I am what I see    
I see what I am      
there's a funny conception      
of the wolf and lamb.      
A spearheaded soldier      
with nothing to loose      
I dust off my jacket      
and put on my shoes.      
I sell myself drugs      
to have something to live for      
this place is a wasteland      
like the sewers of Mordor.      
I give myself time      
but always enough      
I read myself sweaty      
but it gets too much.      
It fills up my lungs      
and it channels my blood      
I always thought of it as      
descendence from mud.      
Regarding the latter      
and the former to come      
I have nothing to hope for      
but vengeance is some.      
My mother was reckless      
and my father's a pope      
I'm a troubled messiah      
who gladly ties his own rope.      
I write my own language      
with cock-feathered pens      
but It's not like I chose to      
be a breeder of hens.      
I live my own daydream with a      
sickly time line      
It coughes and it vomits      
and collects all the fines.      
I regard my own shadow      
as the sins of my past      
a piss-stinking place where      
the never casts.      
This stuff is all nonsense      
and for that I refrain      
but since all this is over      
tell me what is my name?