deepundergroundpoetry.com
Pretty
This make up smeared across the pale face
Red adorning the lips in a gruesome manner
Black rubbed into the eyes of frosted green
She shakes her head back in forth to stop herself
The blade in her head lingers over her eye
She doesn't know when she'll let it plunge
Discard the fragile circle and cut the artery
She is growing tired of seeing the world
Maybe a screwdriver into her ears
Would stop the pain from coming in
If only a man with a blade of hate
Could plunge into the piece of heart
At any given time
Maybe she can finally smile and say
'Thank You'
As the life leaves her and the fear is real
Seeing all and seeing none
Believing some and believing one
She almost sliced into her arm
The day before when everything was wrong
Intent to saw the damned thing off
Hands can feel so why not?
Can someone please take a hammer
Hit just right above the spine
Destroy the feeling in this flesh
Nerves all sent into a tizzy
Better yet just take a knife
Slice into the spinal cord
She'll feel nothing as she falls
Which is what she wanted to begin with.
Nothing
Oh Nothing
She's pretty
So pretty.
Published 10th Dec 2011
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Anonymous
17th Dec 2011 3:35am
...that takes away from the work.
make-up smeared across her pale face
Red adorning her lips in a gruesome manner
Black rubbed into her eyes of frosted green
She shakes her head back and forth to stop herself
The blade in her head lingers over her eye (line needs work...image not strong)
She doesn't know when she'll let it plunge
Discard the fragile circle and cut an artery
She is growing tired of seeing the world...
DP
make-up smeared across her pale face
Red adorning her lips in a gruesome manner
Black rubbed into her eyes of frosted green
She shakes her head back and forth to stop herself
The blade in her head lingers over her eye (line needs work...image not strong)
She doesn't know when she'll let it plunge
Discard the fragile circle and cut an artery
She is growing tired of seeing the world...
DP
17th Dec 2011 4:15am
whilst I agree, i think it was more of people see and 'judge' you before they hear what you're all about. So where the voice may reason, (first) Appearances (impressions) counts;
Voice vs. Looks
Voice vs. Looks
17th Dec 2011 3:56am
@"this was js what I felt in the moment"-- With feelings angst/grudge towards how people view 'pretty'.
What I got from this was you (someone) weren't recognised as pretty so it made you (someone) feel like snuffing it was better than trying to Be pretty. Either way, death comes in various ways and at a price.
(rubix)
What I got from this was you (someone) weren't recognised as pretty so it made you (someone) feel like snuffing it was better than trying to Be pretty. Either way, death comes in various ways and at a price.
(rubix)
17th Dec 2011 4:20am
Interesting piece. I admire your detail, but I feel as If your poem Is missing something..
She'll feel nothing as she falls
Which is what she wanted to begin with.
Nothing
Oh Nothing
She's pretty
So pretty.
To me, this is a poor ending to such a well detailed poem.
Also, If one called me `pretty` I would feel insulted. Pretty Is an unintelligent word from my point of view.
Nice read, though. :)
