Torture most painful

Loneliness
waking up in an empty bed
if sleep even arrives
usually a day too soon
or a week too late

On an intimate (is that the right word here)
first name basis with her
calls round any time
day or night
doesn't even need a key

Often times ushering solitude out
unceremoniously
so as to sit with me during the wee hours of the night
of some days long forgotten binge session

The empty walls don't even try wearing a disguise
they just dance with delirums eyes
Can't hide from her try as you might
she's always there someplace in the subconscious
can't out run her fast as you may
she's always there appearing when you least expect her

She will gladly embrace you as you lay
on the floor in a crumpled ball
something wet pooled around your head
(tears perhaps?)
Don't remember crying at all
at least it's not piss or blood
still my face is soaked
whatever this liquid is

How are you (i hear her ask)
OK a whispered whimper replies
And what kind of multifaceted multidimensional OK would that be?

The kind that makes the heart ache
if it hadn't already run off with solitudes bliss