My Truth

I take 20 steps forward to only take 50 steps back,
What am I doing wrong?
What is it that I lack?
I'm tired of taking all these medications and sitting in therapy chairs staring at blank faces.
Only for them to ask," why are you holding yourself back?"
Well, if I am help me out and tell me where to go next!
I'm buying ounces smoking weed trying to feel numb and I use this guy for sex!
I’m tired of being depressed, living off of recreational happiness and thoughts that I’d never address but...
 who would’ve guessed,
That this heart would allow such turmoil and disarray like scenes from a movie that I’ll always downplay.
Sometimes moving gives you a fresh start, doesn’t mean you’ll forget your problems, it’s just a bandaid for your bleeding heart.
S.O-19