deepundergroundpoetry.com
Path I desire
There is no place I rather be
In a room just you and me
As my eyes are stuck on you
Everything in my heart I know is true
I tell no tales I tell no lies
Forever I promise you I'm not like other guys
Only with you I want to stay
You are on my mind every day
I have spent my whole life searching for bliss
I found it with in you and I can never get tired of this
You have my heart to unlock it there is a key
You are the only one who has it can't you see?
To let you in my complicated soul
As I show you who I am as a whole
To this day and still surprised I didn't scare you away
As memories of this hit me like yesterday
Acceptance is so hard to come by
Lacking this so much has at times made me cry
Here you stand to hold my hand
With care and love trying to understand
As I will forever do the same for you
For you there is nothing I would not do
You are my world you are everything to me
It is like I was a caged bird and you set me free
I mean everything thing I say
Every promise and emotion will not go away
I can prove this to you until the end of time my dear
All I ever wanted was someone like you to be near
In a room just you and me
As my eyes are stuck on you
Everything in my heart I know is true
I tell no tales I tell no lies
Forever I promise you I'm not like other guys
Only with you I want to stay
You are on my mind every day
I have spent my whole life searching for bliss
I found it with in you and I can never get tired of this
You have my heart to unlock it there is a key
You are the only one who has it can't you see?
To let you in my complicated soul
As I show you who I am as a whole
To this day and still surprised I didn't scare you away
As memories of this hit me like yesterday
Acceptance is so hard to come by
Lacking this so much has at times made me cry
Here you stand to hold my hand
With care and love trying to understand
As I will forever do the same for you
For you there is nothing I would not do
You are my world you are everything to me
It is like I was a caged bird and you set me free
I mean everything thing I say
Every promise and emotion will not go away
I can prove this to you until the end of time my dear
All I ever wanted was someone like you to be near
Published 7th Dec 2011
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Anonymous
7th Dec 2011 10:18pm
...your steely determination, over the last 293 poems, to stick to the same clunky rhyme scheme is breathtaking in its bloody mindedness.
Can we though, your readers, ask you to take a break from it? A poem is far more than;
I went for a walk
so you and I could have a little talk
Your work suffers from this badly, as well as your determination to call a line done once you can get it to rhyme, regardless of the difference in the length or number of sylables in the line before or after it.
Do some reading to school yourself on some other options, and grow a pair of balls to try something new.
You'll love it. We'll love it.
DP
Can we though, your readers, ask you to take a break from it? A poem is far more than;
I went for a walk
so you and I could have a little talk
Your work suffers from this badly, as well as your determination to call a line done once you can get it to rhyme, regardless of the difference in the length or number of sylables in the line before or after it.
Do some reading to school yourself on some other options, and grow a pair of balls to try something new.
You'll love it. We'll love it.
DP
26th Mar 2012 1:47am
13th Jan 2013 9:03pm
