In Search of My lightning.
All my life, I have always heard people say that “lightning does not strike twice in the same place.” The adage is true and I want to prove it. For years now, I have been a more than willing recipient of that lightning, and a thunderbolt to go along with it would not hurt. Here I am, lightning. Please strike me. The lightning that is real love, real love of a woman to go embellish my life, to breathe meaning to my existence, to put a smile on my face, and grace my every waking day.
Numerous events, twists and turns, and everything in-between in my life have made me what I am today. They have shaped me to the point that I can boldly say that I know what I want and wish for. Pardon my outspokenness, pardon my brazenness, but I truly know what I want; I want someone to share my life with and to receive all the love that I am overflowing with. This is not to say that I am close to being the perfect man, for nothing and nobody is perfect. For me, the concept of perfection is completely imperfect. Perfection, for me is not a quality or characteristic, it is a state of mind. Happiness, I also define it is a state of mind, a state of being and it cannot be defined or measured by anything except my own gauging power.
I have heard people many a time say “nothing is ever too late.” I have watched and heard that line uttered in romantic movies, I wholeheartedly believe that, hence I am putting it in my writing now. I am a man who has failed many times in many aspects of my life but it does not necessarily mean that I have weakened from those failures. Truthfully speaking, they have made me stronger, better and wiser.
I came from failed relationships and those relationships made me learn my lesson the hard way. It is sometimes funny how life at times is somewhat the opposite of learning. In school, we learn the lesson first before we take the test; in life we take the test before learning the lesson. After that downpour in my life I have learned to value the people I associate myself with, my friends, the people I am close to and of course my two wonderful and loving children, Kimberly and Jonathan. They are my motivating forces; they are the lighthouse in this vast ocean. In this life, they are the air that I breathe; they are the oasis in this desert of uncertainty. You can say that my lifestyle upon initial glance is seemingly complete. I am blessed with the things that I enjoy in this life, things that I am fortunate to have possessed because of hard work. As much as I am proud of what I have accomplished, I know that my life will only be complete if there would be a backbone, and that backbone is the woman I have been longing to cross paths with all these years.
If you think that I am a hopeless romantic, I can assure you that you are right. But please let me redeem myself by requesting that you omit the word hopeless. I can say that my life has made me romantic. If there was a word more potent and more fitting than romantic, I fit that word effortlessly. I sincerely believe that love is what makes life more meaningful, love breathes warmth in the midst of all the cold, love makes everything worthwhile.
Please allow me to say to you, as I have stated earlier, that I am far from being perfect. I have my own flaws and faults. People have similarities and differences. To be outright honest about my pet peeves, the one thing I have no tolerance for. Other than what I have just said, if we share less similarity and more differences, I would be welcome to it. Love and relationships are not about those anyway. They are defined by two people willing to be together hand in hand, through joy and sorrow, through it all.
With sheer obviousness as you are sure to be thinking now, I am a believer in real love, I am a student of life and I am always a willing learner. I am an achiever in life, but in love, I can say that I am back to the start, although I am now wiser and more sensitive. I ardently wish that you will have the patience for me and my flaws, the understanding and the willingness to listen and always be there.
I find utter joy in seeing married couples sit and share stories in park benches, I relish seeing middle-aged couples on a movie date with popcorn in their hands, and I at awestruck at the sight of elderly couples walking on the seashore. It seems like there are less and less couples like them as the days go by. Times are fast changing, and it seems that today everywhere I look, relationships are crumbling, getting to know has been replaced by flirting, social life has been overrun by social networking, and real love has taken a backseat in favor of convenient love, and materialism has overtaken sentimentality. Thinking of these harsh realities, it has made me ponder and wonder and ask, what could it have been like had I lived 50 years ago in the time of our parents and grandparents? Divorce and failed relationships were not common during that time. As times have changed, the way people see and value love has also dramatically deteriorated. For me, love is a two-way street; we have to give as we have to take. We have to take turns in speaking, so that we can take turns listening to each other. I believe in talking my heart out and no stone should be left unturned, and that lovers must not sleep on a quarrel. I reckon that the reason that more and more relationships crumble everyday is because of the lack of time to hear each other out, the lack of time to understand each other and the lack of belief that love is a gift and although it is a gift of life, it has to be worked on by both parties every single day. Love begets love, understanding begets understanding. I believe that love must be willingly given and not bestowed because of the need to reciprocate. As much as sweet and exceptional love is very much aspired, it is untiring love that I long and dream for.
With that in hand, I am a soldier of life who believes that real love is still out there and it is waiting for me. So strike me with your lightning, your thunderbolt that is real love.
© by Robert WK Clark