Paradise of fools

Today never happened.
At least that's what I keep telling myself.
I didn't hurt anyone, I didn't feel like crap.
No, there were no tears before or after his visit, both cases non related to him.
There were absolutely no regrets or hate for mankind. No remembering past traumas, not even the smell of something burning.
No cold coffee, no falling in the shower.
There were no cuts, no faking, no one catching me with red eyes.
I didn't run out of cigarettes nor did I wish I was dead.
No one saw me naked and ran away, again.
Certainly my son didn't knock on the door and I was totally honest.
I wasn't right about that thing and men are not predictable or stupid.
I didn't say goodbye to a dozen people and then thought of never waking up again.

None of these things happened today or yesterday, nor will they happen tomorrow.

At least that's what I keep telling myself.