Live Through This

 
Breathing barely enough air to keep my head up
Unable to stand without the firefly spots of dizziness
Dancing around my eyes and threatening to take me away
Fearful that my time is at an end and wishing for more
Whirling lights and sirens fill my eyes and ears
And faces swim into view with questions I can't answer
Mechanical lungs take over for the flesh and push air into
My withering body
And I can only moan and cry out in pain
Fear is a real animal on the prowl inside my mind
Taking it's meals out of my thoughts and roaring in my ears
Wondering when it will bend it's head for the kill
And end this vivid suffering
Days on end pass slow and icy with fear
While I lie withering away in a weakened state I have never
Felt before
But time passes as time will
Days and days of it with only the memory of pain left to me now
Life slowly seeps back into me but I am a kitten
In a big cats body and too tired to play
The ICU is no place for a pussy
I am sent home to lick my wounds and recover what I might
Of my image of self as strong
An image so worn that it will take a miracle of miracles
To return it to full size
Living through this has demanded a toll so large
I can never pray to pay it off