quelling indecision

oh i'm torn
between crawling into a sullen abyss
curling up into a dark and filthy corner
or grabbing hold of the day
challenging tendons to learn their tear point

oh i could go either way
be happy as crustaceans escaping nets
and basking in the surplus from their school’s sudden absence

or sulking the day away
rubbing the muscle of mind till it is numb
and raw from overuse

what choices
what use of free will
to actually pick the electric charge of hormonal and chemical molecules
waiting to receive their instructions
or i
awaiting the role of their die