deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Looking Glass
I met you lurking in the night
in dreamscape lands
from Dali's brush.
More of a shadow than a man
fracturing my world apart
with ideas, I've never had.
Lies that seem so true
reflect in the mirror
from an innocent smile.
I never smile back
but you don't seem to care
as you dwell in my thoughts,
uninvited.
Published 8th May 2019
| Edited 11th May 2019
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comments 4
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The author encourages honest critique.
10th May 2019 11:03pm
The opening stanza is incredible,
such an amazing image.
And the second stanza is tight and punchy.
The third maybe the weakest IMO,
but sets up the final stanza nicely,
I would place ''uninvited''
on its own,
as the final line.
Thank you for posting,
i enjoyed the read.
such an amazing image.
And the second stanza is tight and punchy.
The third maybe the weakest IMO,
but sets up the final stanza nicely,
I would place ''uninvited''
on its own,
as the final line.
Thank you for posting,
i enjoyed the read.
Thank you so much for your insights. I like the idea of placing "uninvited" on its own and will edit. Peace to you.
14th May 2019 10:57am
15th May 2019 7:21am
