deepundergroundpoetry.com
FUCK ME!
I will describe what I want from you its very simple but true
JUST FUCK ME
USE ME
ABUSE ME
Make me yours 100% make me your slave make me behave my Master of All
I want to suck you till the Blood rushes to your cock as I get it ready for our bodies to join together as you take my glistening wet pussy for a ride
your hands begin to stroke as you choke as we get more into our Passion bend me over and spank my Ass give me all you have leave your mark
brand me as Your nasty slutty Whore
Make me get on me knees as you hold me back
make me beg for you
JUST FUCK ME
USE ME
ABUSE ME
Make me yours 100% make me your slave make me behave my Master of All
I want to suck you till the Blood rushes to your cock as I get it ready for our bodies to join together as you take my glistening wet pussy for a ride
your hands begin to stroke as you choke as we get more into our Passion bend me over and spank my Ass give me all you have leave your mark
brand me as Your nasty slutty Whore
Make me get on me knees as you hold me back
make me beg for you
Published 1st Dec 2011
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The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
2nd Dec 2011 12:22pm
Hey Bigmomma. Liked the direct and thrusting urgency of this, especially how it starts. If poetry IS supposed to be the overflowing of human emotion then this appears to fit the bill.
I couldn't say I'm a fan of the very long and fairly randomly broken lines you use. Also you lapse into narrative (when the rest of the poem is very much imperative/directive) somewhere in the middle. May I suggest you try shorter lines to give a staccato effect and an increased sense of urgency? (Copy and paste below is my lazy-ass way of making suggestions, no presumption intended) Good write, liked it. R.
I will describe
what I want from you
its very simple
but true
FUCK ME!
JUST USE ME.
ABUSE ME.
Make me yours
One hundred percent
make me your slave
make me behave
my Master of All
I want to suck you
till the Blood rushes
to your cock as I get
it ready
for our bodies to join
together
take my glistening wet
pussy for a ride
Let me feel
your hands begin to stroke
as you choke
as we get more into our
Passion
bend me over and spank my Ass
give me all you have
leave your mark
brand me as Your nasty slutty Whore
Make me get on me knees
as you hold me back
make me beg for you
Pleeeeeeease!
I couldn't say I'm a fan of the very long and fairly randomly broken lines you use. Also you lapse into narrative (when the rest of the poem is very much imperative/directive) somewhere in the middle. May I suggest you try shorter lines to give a staccato effect and an increased sense of urgency? (Copy and paste below is my lazy-ass way of making suggestions, no presumption intended) Good write, liked it. R.
I will describe
what I want from you
its very simple
but true
FUCK ME!
JUST USE ME.
ABUSE ME.
Make me yours
One hundred percent
make me your slave
make me behave
my Master of All
I want to suck you
till the Blood rushes
to your cock as I get
it ready
for our bodies to join
together
take my glistening wet
pussy for a ride
Let me feel
your hands begin to stroke
as you choke
as we get more into our
Passion
bend me over and spank my Ass
give me all you have
leave your mark
brand me as Your nasty slutty Whore
Make me get on me knees
as you hold me back
make me beg for you
Pleeeeeeease!
23rd Dec 2011 6:25pm
